Once there were two friends, Ben and Bob. Ben and Bob were best buddies and enjoyed doing many things together.
One day Ben and Bob both went to a birthday party for their friend Bruce. They had a great time. However, the next day Bruce’s mom called to say that Bruce was sick with the chicken pox.
Well, wouldn’t you know that Ben and Bob both came down with chicken pox, too! Ben ran a fever. Bob had a runny nose and cough. Both of them had itchy chicken pox all over. They were miserable!
Ben’s mom made him rub smelly pink lotion all over his body. Bob’s mom made him take cough syrup that tasted awful. Bleh! Day after day they lay in bed. Ben was sweaty with his fever. When he sweat he would itch more and more until he thought he would go crazy!
Bob coughed and scratched and coughed and scratched and coughed some more until he thought he would go crazy!
“Don’t worry,” their mothers both said. “Everyone goes through this when they have the chicken pox. You’ll start to feel better soon.”
Bob was grouchy, and Ben was grumpy. They couldn’t go to school, which was O.K., but they couldn’t go out and play with their friends either. They weren’t even allowed to talk to each other on the phone or use the computer. Ugh!
Just when they both thought they’d really go crazy, Ben noticed that he wasn’t itching quite so much. Bob noticed that his sore throat and cough was gone. Ben had his mom check his temperature and found out his fever had disappeared. Bob said, “I don’t need that horrible cough syrup. I won’t take it anymore AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!”
As you can tell, they were still grumpy, but their moms knew that they really were starting to feel better and would be back in school soon. A few more days passed. Bob and Ben talked on the phone. They decided they were feeling well enough to go back to school. That even sounded like a pretty good idea because they were bored and they were missing their friends. Their moms agreed it was time. So the very next day Bob and Ben returned to school. Bob and Ben and Bruce were as happy to see one another as friends can be.
Today, Ben still has some scars where he scratched and picked at the biggest chicken pox. Bob still remembers that bad time and, if he tries really hard, he can still remember the awful taste of that cough syrup. Bleh!
However, what Bob and Ben remember most about that year is the fun they had at Bruce’s birthday party, the good times they had with their friends when they got back to school and how lucky they are to have one another as friends.
The End.
Thoughts and Reflections:
Grief is not an illness. Grief is a normal and natural response to any experience of loss. However, sometimes we can feel “sick with grief”. Our grief can remind us of what it feels like to be ill and vulnerable.
How do you feel when you are ill at home and unable to do the things you normally want or need to do?
How is your grief like being ill?
There is no way around, under or over grief. We must go through it, awful as it is. What kinds of things do you need (like Ben and Bob’s medicine and pink lotion) to move through these pain-filled and uncomfortable days?
Does your grief ever make you feel like you are “going crazy” or losing it? Is there value in the advice of Ben and Bob’s mothers that could apply to your situation? Or do you feel that advice doesn’t apply? Why or why not?
Can you imagine a time when the pain of remembering gives way to the joy of remembering?
Blessings on your journey.
Robyn
